Hello... I MISS MY BLOG SO MUCH OH MY GOD HOW CAN I ABANDONED THIS BEAUTIFUL PLACE OF MINE FOR LIKE A YEAR OH MY HOW CAN IT BE :(

But the good thing is now, im back. Im not hoping for anyone to read this. What made me came back here? Ive been wondering myself too but now i know. This place is perfect. For everything. For me to tell the whole world what i did, how i felt and etc. But now that i came back, i wont be writing like i used to. What i mean is, maybe i will write more than putting pictures like i used to. This is my journal. Well literally, my public journal but i dont mind sharing my feelings here rather than tweeting them.

Ive been thinking, should i delete my older suck posts? But they are not suck :( they were just full with stupid grammar errors and un-beautiful pictures of mine :( But then i think, why should i? Why should i delete them? It was me. My whole posts, they were me, not somebody else, so i shouldnt be embarrassed, shouldnt i? So i decided, just to keep them. After all, everyone looked sucks like big time when they were kid, right? Or it was only me... But i couldnt care less since i am now, much better than before. 

For those who might reading this {while yawning, ya i dont mind lol}, i have just finished PMR. It is Penilaian Menengah Rendah. Tick tock tick tock, it has been 3 years of me living as a secondary school student. So yeah, the examination is waaaaaaaaaaaaay crucial than what you think. Ive put my best effort in it and now it is just the time for me to continuously pray and have faith in Him. With my best efforts, i hope i can get that 9A's on my PMR slip, insyaAllah.

I didnt know, being a teenager is much more complicated than how i thought it will be. Ive been dealing with every kind of problems. I didnt know how did i get through all of them. My heart, i think it is just now so sore and need to be heal. My heart has been working so hard to accept everything. Accepting unexpected devastated things. Acting like i am that one happy cheerful contented girl but deep down underneath, i felt empty. I know He is always with me, i know that. But sometimes i just feel so empty, disappointed, mad and everything towards myself. I hate that i always choosed the wrong options at the last minute. I hate making decisions. I just hate it because it will ended up the other way around not like what i hope will turned to. But what really matters, i am a teenager. I screwed up things. Its normal. Making people hate of myself. Its normal. Even i hated myself. Do you expect me to be a responsible person? NO. I cant even handle myself, my problems, my everything. At this point, i just need to me more lovable, towards who? Before i love someone, let me have the chance to love myself first. Its a big deal here, doesn't it? 

There is literally a lot more things in my head that i need to burst them out from my head into this public space of mine but i think, i should stop now. Im happy to be back, i hope you do too. Ehem, before i go, can i give a little warning here.........

IF YOU EVER CAME ACROSS MY OLD STUPID PICTURES AND SUCK GRAMMAR POSTS JUST HELP YOURSELF NOT TO LAUGH PLEASE I BEG YOU

thank you.